|Fall 2007 Couture: Every Bad Thing Ever, Part 1
||[Jul. 9th, 2007|10:21 am]
The Fashion Pigs
Sometimes I get excited about couture because it takes real artistry to turn simple fabric into a rich garment that entices, flatters and has personality. Some designers give us the human soul writ large upon a tapestry that is at turns subdued and glamorous, traditional and modern.|
Other times, it's a big pile of winkingly ironic, overly baroque tomfoolery that looks like seven cats stapled together and draped in glitter. With the popularity of animal prints and royalty-inspired looks, this is one of those times.
If you're going to read on, go ahead and make a doctor's appointment for the hernia you're about to have.
Who ordered the coconut Snowball with the hatchet face on top? Nah, just kidding. I love this outfit because it's probably flattering to every body type.
KING OF THE WILD FRONTIEEEER
I kinda have flashbacks to that David Bowie video* for "Ashes to Ashes." I remember the part where he was a girl and wearing a stupid hat and then I ran onscreen and throat-punched the shit out of him, right then and there, and he fell on the ground gagging and kicking.
I was actually scared for a minute, because I thought this was a disembodied baby head haunting a fencing costume,* like a Scooby Doo episode but for real-reals.
Pardonnez-moi, mademoiselle! I can't help but notice your head is fucking tiny. The beads on your necklace are the same size as your head. And you are not allowed to cut a hole in a sleeping bag and drape it over your body (unless you live in Arcata).
I would like to rip off the sexy robot half and leave the vapid Ibiza celebrity DJ half* to die of blood loss.
You may not believe me now, but come August-ish, the "big shambling pile of carpet remnants" look is going to be HOT!
No matter where you went to high school, we all had the kid who read too many Sandman comics and doodled all over their face with wobbly black eye-pencil. And even then we knew it was bullshit. Now there is simply no excuse.
Collage is an art form maybe when you're 10.